Things You Must Do To Solve Marital Problems


If you love watching romance movies you are surely familiar with this dialogue, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” Hearing such statement is saddening, and even such words are not directed to you feel affected. You might be thinking, how could you tell that? How can you say you love your husband or wife? And immediately take it back by saying…but I’m not in love with you.

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Obviously, couples who are at face with this situation needs help to solve their marital problem. What are the things you must do to solve marital problems?

According to David Reuben, “A marriage is like a long trip in a tiny rowboat; if one passenger starts to rock the boat, the other has to steady it; otherwise they will both go to the bottom together.” If you notice that your husband or wife has a problem, you need to check and balance what’s the real issue. In order for you to prevent the escalation of the problem it is best to deal with it calmly. Marital problems are present all the time, but you can make them go away once you master the problem solving techniques. The question is not what is the solution? Rather what is the best approach in solving the problem? According to Dr. John Gottman there are poisonous patterns of interaction between couple. He calls these interactions as “Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” According to him couples must check the following behaviors: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling because these will make your marriage fall apart. If you notice that your husband or wife, or even you are communicating improperly with your partner, you must stop and ask yourself what can you do to avoid the negativity in your communication style? Communication is a two way process, for instance you want to talk about your problem with partner, you must approach her or him nicely. Instead of opening the conversation with the word, I don’t want, it is better to say I want. Positive approach clicks no matter what the situation is.

Truly marital problems come and go in a couple’s life all you have to do is deal with every problem hand in hand. You can also seek advice from marriage therapists if your problem is really huge. Always remember that as couple you must deal with each other gently, and let love, respect, and understanding reign in your life all the time.

Always show your love for each other every morning and learn to appreciate even the little things your partner does for you so that you can keep your love going.

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